The Crop Circles

Towards 2012 [Seriously]

By Charles William Johnson

    What if the crop circles, found in fields of grain throughout the world today are the product of some bored alien sent as a scout to keep an eye on planet Earth?

    Just imagine. This alien person or these persons are up there somewhere, hovering over Earth, in their spacecraft with the duty to watch over Earth.

    They are bored, with nothing to do, but have the latest technology and weaponry at their fingertips.

    So, they start doodling in the crop fields, creating these weird-looking circles and designs.

    And, then, down here below, everyone here on Earth is looking at these doodles and analyzing them, and concluding that the aliens want to communicate with us.

    Maybe nothing could be farther from the truth. They are just up there, in their spacecraft, bored out of their mind, with nothing to do, but having to watch over this busy little planet until they get their next orders, possibly to go scout another solar system somewhere out there.

    Who knows ---and here we are trying to figure what all of these circular and geometrical designs mean. What if they mean nothing and that there is no communicative purpose behind them. Any civilization that can send a spacecraft to hover over Earth for years on end, with some bored crew doodling in our wheat fields is far superior to us in any technological sense. What would they want to communicate to us? Why would they want to communicate to us? To find out what kind of fertilizer we use in growing our crops?

    I think that by now, with so many crop circles drawn all over the Earth, year after year, us Earthlings would have tried communicating back to them aliens. But, first of all, it seems that every effort is made to deny the very existence of the crop circles. Us humans on Earth, or most of us, have turned a blind eye towards the crop circles. We act as though they do not exist. We just keep cutting them down, plowing over them, and eating our wheat and grains.

    What the heck would we want to communicate to those aliens anyway? Hey, would we want to ask them how do they make those crop circles? Yeah, like we want to learn how to make crop circles in order to be able to go and make our own circles. Like, for what reason. To answer the crop circles with another different kind of circular formation. Or, maybe we would create squares. You say circle; I say square. "You say tomato; I say tomato. Who cares?

    So, what could possibly be the purpose of someone taking the time and effort to create all of those crop circles, which some say may have been around for thousands of years?

    Maybe these alien people are simply stubborn and they think that us earthlings will some day come to appreciate art and start creating art, instead of going to war against ourselves. Knowing how us humans have started wars all throughout our history, like yeah that isn´t going to happen any time soon.

    Those alien people up there, hovering in their spacecraft, doodling in our crop fields, have probably been looking down on our warring ways for the past few decades or centuries, and saying to themselves, "what the hell is wrong with these people on Earth? Why do they kill one another, when it´s so easy and so much fun to make crop circles?"

    Really, think about it. All of the crop circles that have been photographed, printed, turned in postcards and calendars, placemats, beer mugs and coffee cup designs, giving so much visual pleasure to so many. I mean wouldn´t it make more sense to make crop circles than to make war?

    Of course it would. But, that´s not how things work here on Earth. And, the aliens know that. Otherwise that crew up there, they would have landed their spaceship here a long time ago and had a couple of beers with us. Yeah, like drink the crops, don´t mess them up by stomping down on them.

    But, hey, maybe those hovering aliens have their own kind of brew and that´s why some of the crop circles are not drawn with such precision as others. Some crop circles show when the alien crew gets inebriated and messes up some of its doodles. Their straight lines are not so straight; their circles are not so circular.

    I know that there must be a purpose behind the doodles in the crop fields. There have been and still are too many crop doodles being made to be just some drunken alien crew hovering over Earth doing all that while they are waiting to ship out to their next assignment.

    There has to be some ulterior motive other than the profit motive of earning a few pennies on the products and items made with crop circle designs.

    In a real sense, it is frustrating to look at all the circles, get the sensation that their is a communication purpose there in them, and then come up blank, not knowing what the hell are they trying to communicate to us. I mean, they make us feel like a stupid student, just looking at the problem and wondering what the hell the answer is. Come on, teach, tell me the answer don´t keep me in the dark. Why are you torturing me like this, making me feel stupid? You know the answer, just tell me and get done with it.

    Some people might say, oh, they are not telling us the answer, because we are not ready to know. Then, why in the hell show me the crop circles to begin with. If you figure I am too dumb to know what they mean, or too stupid to be able to manage the knowledge behind the crop circles, well, then don´t show them to me in the first place.

    Now, if they are some kind of test that I have to pass, well, just tell me the answer. Why make me waste all of this time trying to figure out something that the aliens already know. Sure, the answer there is that the crop circles are a teaching process. The aliens are teaching us how to think, how to accept the idea that aliens may exist without us getting all freaked out and blowing ourselves up.

    Or trying to avoid us getting goofy and blowing them up when they appear in 2012 or sometime soon.

    Sure, the crop circles are beautiful; they are some of the most complex geometrical designs that I have ever seen either on paper or doodled in the wheat fields. They are so complex that nobody here on Earth seems to know how they could have been made. But, we are so stupid at times, that we are willing to believe that a couple of human beings with cord and plank are able to create such designs in the crop fields. Yeah, right again.

    I would challenge any two people by themselves on Earth to create, with plank and cord in hand, some of those enormously expansive crop circles with hundreds of different sizes of circles in any of those spiraling arm designs.

    I would challenge any private company or even public government here on Earth to show us with their latest technology how they could create some of those same enormously expansive circles.

    It can´t be done. It hasn´t been done. No individuals nor have any governments or private enterprisers come forward to show how they can create the same or similar circles as the ones appearing throughout Europe.

    Anyone who could create one of those ultra-complex circular formations would have come forward decades ago to show off their skills. And they would have made and could still make a ton of money doing that. But, no one has come forward to brag about how they can do it, because no one on Earth can do it.

    The alien crew hovering over the Earth must be laughing themselves silly knowing this. When the two English fellows came forward and said that they were the ones creating all the crop circles, it wasn´t long after that the aliens said, "oh yeah, well create this" and they started making mind-blowing designs of such expansive size taking the circles to unimaginable heights.

    Now, they have basically shut everyone up who ever said that the crop circles were the products of a couple of old gentlemen.

    Scientists, students, scholars, people from all walks of life on Earth have made every attempt to demonstrate that the crop circles cannot possibly be the product of people here on Earth ---to no avail. No one pays them much mind. No matter how scientific the studies are that demonstrate the altered nature of the crops themselves upon bending into the different designs, most people are simply not listening, uninterested; who cares.

    And the alien crew just keeps doodling away. And their purpose is? Hmm..., that´s something that we need to explore.

    Are they really just doodling, bored out of their minds while waiting for their next assignment? Or, is there a designed purpose behind all the crop circles? I think I have a few answers. So, let´s get out a scratch pad and start doodling ourselves.

    "Anything you can do I can do better; I can do anything better than you."-[Irving Berlin, 1946]